Today has gotta be the day 

That I’ve gone and filled my pants with poo 

By now I should’ve somehow 

Realised that I’d need the loo 

I don’t believe that anybody 

Walks the way I do. I can’t sit down. 

 

Brown seat, the word is on the street 

That the power in my fart is out 

I’m sure you’ve smelled it all before 

But now it’s really up your snout 

I don’t believe that anybody 

Walks the way I do. My pants are brown. 

 

And all the turds I’ve had to crap are clinging 

And all the shite hangs from my cheeks all minging 

There are many ways that I could 

Have stopped this follow-through 

But it’s too late now 

Because maybe 

You’re gonna be the one that saves me? 

And anyway 

You’re my underwear