Today has gotta be the day
That I’ve gone and filled my pants with poo
By now I should’ve somehow
Realised that I’d need the loo
I don’t believe that anybody
Walks the way I do. I can’t sit down.
Brown seat, the word is on the street
That the power in my fart is out
I’m sure you’ve smelled it all before
But now it’s really up your snout
I don’t believe that anybody
Walks the way I do. My pants are brown.
And all the turds I’ve had to crap are clinging
And all the shite hangs from my cheeks all minging
There are many ways that I could
Have stopped this follow-through
But it’s too late now
Because maybe
You’re gonna be the one that saves me?
And anyway
You’re my underwear
more puerile poetry...