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Who says poetry has to be great?

She may once have had

A total eclipse of the heart

But from us Bonnie Tyler

Has had to depart.

Monday 20 July 2026

Tynwald Day (Isle Of Man). Long before dawn, crowds of mackintoshed Manx spinsters begin assembling at Ocra’s Kiosk, site of the mythical Masturbation of Bogroll Broadthighs in AD 785, and eat raw herrings until it stops raining.

Today’s Former UK Prime Minister: Benjamin Disraeli

Goosey goosey gander

Fatter than a panda

The size of your liver

Would make most people quiver

So eat your grain with force

So that for my first course

I can have a fine paté

Instead of boring chicken satay.