Come To Grimsby

Come, oh come to Grimsby town 

A place of smiles and ne’er a frown. 

Where life is good and full of joy 

For man and woman, girl and boy. 

Take a stroll along the street 

Shake the hand of all you meet 

Take the air along the quay side 

It’s a bit like being at the seaside. 

 

See the girls in summer frocks, 

Guaranteed to harden cocks. 

All around is glaring beauty, 

So indulge - it is your duty. 

Even if you’re on your uppers 

You can still get your fish supper. 

Be you a saint or Jack the Ripper, 

Everybody gets a kipper. 

 

Come, oh come to Grimsby fair, 

I know you’ll really like it there. 

Take a taste of crab and lobster 

Fresh from market, not from mobster. 

Buy yourself a bag of winkles, 

Extra salt you’ll need not sprinkle, 

Or a walk along the dock’ll 

Find you hankering for a cockle. 

 

How wonderful, the Grimsby folk. 

Always there to share a joke, 

Generous and never greedy, 

Happy just to help the needy. 

What a marvellous place to be 

That glorious town just by the sea, 

So come with me my wholesome matey 

To that great place on the A180. 

 

• A Poet’s Life
• Star Trek
• A Postcard From Cairo
• Waldrapp Ibis
• A Postcard From Paris
• Washing Up In The Nude
• A Song In My Heart
• We Are All Tubes
• Auntie Brenda’s Pheasant
• Bachelor Gay
• Beansprouts
• Being Smelly
• Bike
• Bog Troll
• Bollocks
• Boris Et Al
• When
• Born To Be A Cunt
• Brian Is A Cunt
• Bum Cracks
• Chairs
• Chips
• Come To Grimsby
• Crustylingus
• Die Like Elvis
• Dining At The Y
• Zafira
• Finger On The Button
• Fuck
• GDPR
• Go East Young Man
• Goose
• Printer Friendly Version
• Great Fat Hairy Arseholes
• Grimsby Fair
• Safe Word
• I Walked On Golden Sandwiches
• Shiter’s Block
• I Walked On My Own Feet A Bit
• I Want A Wee Wee
• If I Were
• Ill Ness
• In The Park
• JFK
• Kelp
• Let’s Swap Snot
• Look At Me I’m Wonderful
• My Old Man’s A Dustman
• National Curry Day
• National Poetry Day
• Nob Gags
• Ode To My Stapler
• Ode To O
• Owed To Ayrton
• Pervert
• Poultry
• Theme For An Imaginary Soap
• Thank Friday It’s Curry Day
• The Breakfast Song
• Underwear
• The Glisten On The Aubergine
• The Shits
• The Secret Life Of The Wheat Crunchie

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