Come To Grimsby

Come, oh come to Grimsby town 

A place of smiles and ne’er a frown. 

Where life is good and full of joy 

For man and woman, girl and boy. 

Take a stroll along the street 

Shake the hand of all you meet 

Take the air along the quay side 

It’s a bit like being at the seaside. 

 

See the girls in summer frocks, 

Guaranteed to harden cocks. 

All around is glaring beauty, 

So indulge - it is your duty. 

Even if you’re on your uppers 

You can still get your fish supper. 

Be you a saint or Jack the Ripper, 

Everybody gets a kipper. 

 

Come, oh come to Grimsby fair, 

I know you’ll really like it there. 

Take a taste of crab and lobster 

Fresh from market, not from mobster. 

Buy yourself a bag of winkles, 

Extra salt you’ll need not sprinkle, 

Or a walk along the dock’ll 

Find you hankering for a cockle. 

 

How wonderful, the Grimsby folk. 

Always there to share a joke, 

Generous and never greedy, 

Happy just to help the needy. 

What a marvellous place to be 

That glorious town just by the sea, 

So come with me my wholesome matey 

To that great place on the A180. 

 

• Washing Up In The Nude
• Bike
• Chips
• National Curry Day
• Go East Young Man
• Bachelor Gay
• Poultry
• A Song In My Heart
• Finger On The Button
• A Postcard From Paris
• Beansprouts
• Nob Gags
• Bollocks
• Boris Et Al
• Crustylingus
• Auntie Brenda’s Pheasant
• I Walked On My Own Feet A Bit
• Shiter’s Block
• Thank Friday It’s Curry Day
• Look At Me I’m Wonderful
• The Glisten On The Aubergine
• In The Park
• Being Smelly
• Great Fat Hairy Arseholes
• The Shits
• My Old Man’s A Dustman
• Star Trek
• Ode To My Stapler
• Chairs
• Waldrapp Ibis
• Bum Cracks
• Die Like Elvis
• Kelp
• Fuck
• I Walked On Golden Sandwiches
• We Are All Tubes
• Underwear
• If I Were
• I Want A Wee Wee
• Pervert
• GDPR
• Grimsby Fair
• Ode To O
• Let’s Swap Snot
• A Poet’s Life
• Come To Grimsby
• Ill Ness
• Brian Is A Cunt
• National Poetry Day
• A Postcard From Cairo
• The Secret Life Of The Wheat Crunchie
• When
• The Breakfast Song
• Dining At The Y
• Zafira
• Born To Be A Cunt
• Goose
• Bog Troll
• Printer Friendly Version
• JFK
• Theme For An Imaginary Soap
• Owed To Ayrton
• Safe Word

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