I Want A Wee Wee
I want a wee wee
I’m dying for a piss
I’ve never felt my bladder bursting
Quite as bad as this.
The strain is so unbearable
I’m writhing in my chair
I cross my legs and fidget
And I grumble in dispair.
Oh God I need a wee wee
I must go to the toilet
But here I stay to write this poem
For you; I cannot spoil it.
That’s the standard you expect
From a professional such as me.
I put my readers way before
My need to have a pee.
Oh bloody hell, I’ve got to go
I cannot bear this pain.
But first I’ve got to end this poem
Or everything’s in vain.
Wait a minute! No, that’s wrong!
I know what I’ll do.
I can finish off this poem
When I’m back from the loo....
Excuse me.........
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Aw fuck! I didn’t make it.
I went and wet my pants.
I should have gone before I started.
Now I missed my chance.
And so this poem is pointless
For I know one thing for sure.
I’ve realised that I don’t want
A wee wee anymore.
- Washing Up In The Nude
- Bike
- Chips
- National Curry Day
- Go East Young Man
- Bachelor Gay
- Poultry
- A Song In My Heart
- Finger On The Button
- A Postcard From Paris
- Beansprouts
- Nob Gags
- Bollocks
- Boris Et Al
- Crustylingus
- Auntie Brenda’s Pheasant
- I Walked On My Own Feet A Bit
- Shiter’s Block
- Thank Friday It’s Curry Day
- Look At Me I’m Wonderful
- The Glisten On The Aubergine
- In The Park
- Being Smelly
- Great Fat Hairy Arseholes
- The Shits
- My Old Man’s A Dustman
- Star Trek
- Ode To My Stapler
- Chairs
- Waldrapp Ibis
- Bum Cracks
- Die Like Elvis
- Kelp
- Fuck
- I Walked On Golden Sandwiches
- We Are All Tubes
- Underwear
- If I Were
- I Want A Wee Wee
- Pervert
- GDPR
- Grimsby Fair
- Ode To O
- Let’s Swap Snot
- A Poet’s Life
- Come To Grimsby
- Ill Ness
- Brian Is A Cunt
- National Poetry Day
- A Postcard From Cairo
- The Secret Life Of The Wheat Crunchie
- When
- The Breakfast Song
- Dining At The Y
- Zafira
- Born To Be A Cunt
- Goose
- Bog Troll
- Printer Friendly Version
- JFK
- Theme For An Imaginary Soap
- Owed To Ayrton
- Safe Word