Grimsby Fair

Are you going to Grimsby Fair? 

Haddock, hake, cod, herring and sole 

Remember me to one who works there 

She once let my eel in her hole. 

 

See for me that her hair is a mess 

Haddock, hake, cod, herring and plaice 

And that her dress is dirty and torn 

I once let her sit on my face. 

 

Tell her to go to the chemist at once 

Haddock, hake, cod, herring and sprat 

To ask for her some camomile lotion 

Or she’ll have an itch on her twat. 

 

Tell her to find me a house by the docks 

Haddock, hake, cod, herring and shrimp, 

And live in there with all of her sisters, 

I will make them rich as their pimp. 

 

Are you going to Grimsby Fair? 

Haddock, hake, cod, herring and dab 

You will have the time of your life there, 

Only if you don’t mind the crabs 

 

• A Poet’s Life
• Star Trek
• A Postcard From Cairo
• Waldrapp Ibis
• A Postcard From Paris
• Washing Up In The Nude
• A Song In My Heart
• We Are All Tubes
• Auntie Brenda’s Pheasant
• Bachelor Gay
• Beansprouts
• Being Smelly
• Bike
• Bog Troll
• Bollocks
• Boris Et Al
• When
• Born To Be A Cunt
• Brian Is A Cunt
• Bum Cracks
• Chairs
• Chips
• Come To Grimsby
• Crustylingus
• Die Like Elvis
• Dining At The Y
• Zafira
• Finger On The Button
• Fuck
• GDPR
• Go East Young Man
• Goose
• Printer Friendly Version
• Great Fat Hairy Arseholes
• Grimsby Fair
• Safe Word
• I Walked On Golden Sandwiches
• Shiter’s Block
• I Walked On My Own Feet A Bit
• I Want A Wee Wee
• If I Were
• Ill Ness
• In The Park
• JFK
• Kelp
• Let’s Swap Snot
• Look At Me I’m Wonderful
• My Old Man’s A Dustman
• National Curry Day
• National Poetry Day
• Nob Gags
• Ode To My Stapler
• Ode To O
• Owed To Ayrton
• Pervert
• Poultry
• Theme For An Imaginary Soap
• Thank Friday It’s Curry Day
• The Breakfast Song
• Underwear
• The Glisten On The Aubergine
• The Shits
• The Secret Life Of The Wheat Crunchie

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