Grimsby Fair

Are you going to Grimsby Fair? 

Haddock, hake, cod, herring and sole 

Remember me to one who works there 

She once let my eel in her hole. 

 

See for me that her hair is a mess 

Haddock, hake, cod, herring and plaice 

And that her dress is dirty and torn 

I once let her sit on my face. 

 

Tell her to go to the chemist at once 

Haddock, hake, cod, herring and sprat 

To ask for her some camomile lotion 

Or she’ll have an itch on her twat. 

 

Tell her to find me a house by the docks 

Haddock, hake, cod, herring and shrimp, 

And live in there with all of her sisters, 

I will make them rich as their pimp. 

 

Are you going to Grimsby Fair? 

Haddock, hake, cod, herring and dab 

You will have the time of your life there, 

Only if you don’t mind the crabs 

 

• Goose
• Great Fat Hairy Arseholes
• Die Like Elvis
• National Curry Day
• Bachelor Gay
• A Postcard From Paris
• Poultry
• Bike
• If I Were
• Beansprouts
• JFK
• Owed To Ayrton
• The Glisten On The Aubergine
• Printer Friendly Version
• Underwear
• Chairs
• The Secret Life Of The Wheat Crunchie
• Bog Troll
• Waldrapp Ibis
• When
• Kelp
• Born To Be A Cunt
• I Walked On Golden Sandwiches
• A Postcard From Cairo
• Grimsby Fair
• Safe Word
• Zafira
• Theme For An Imaginary Soap
• Star Trek
• Washing Up In The Nude
• Thank Friday It’s Curry Day
• Ode To My Stapler
• The Breakfast Song
• Pervert
• We Are All Tubes
• Fuck
• Finger On The Button
• Come To Grimsby
• Shiter’s Block
• Go East Young Man
• Auntie Brenda’s Pheasant
• Brian Is A Cunt
• National Poetry Day
• Crustylingus
• In The Park
• Ill Ness
• I Want A Wee Wee
• Nob Gags
• I Walked On My Own Feet A Bit
• Dining At The Y
• Let’s Swap Snot
• Bum Cracks
• A Poet’s Life
• Ode To O
• Boris Et Al
• GDPR
• Look At Me I’m Wonderful
• My Old Man’s A Dustman
• Bollocks
• Chips
• Being Smelly
• A Song In My Heart
• The Shits

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