Safe Word
Ow!
Ow!
Ow, ow, ow!
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Ouch!
Ooooh!
Ow, ow, aaargh!
Arg! Ooh!
Ow, ow, yaaaahh!
Please, miss,
can I have some more?
Ow! That really hurts.
Ow! God that truly burns
Ow!
That’s even worse.
Owwww!
Okay, that’s enough
Ow, that’s really sore.
Ow, ow! Time to stop, now, please.
I can take no more.
Ow! Ow!
Stop I say!
Stop! Haven’t you heard?
Ow, ow, now let’s think,
What was the safe word?
Bloody hell, what was it?
Ow! Shit! I’ve forgotten.
Ow! Please, stop it, now!
Ooooh, my poor red bottom.
Was it Fish? Was it Wine?
Ow! Oh, was it Cheese?
Maybe it was Mango? Ow!
Banana? Orange? Peach?
Red! Red!
It must be red!
Ow! Oh, shit, it’s not.
Why have I gone and chosen
A word that I forgot?
Penguin?
Snippet?
Artichoke?
Goblin? Ow! No, Wizard!
Lobster? Hatstand? Dribble? Ow!
Chicken. Gobble. Gizzard.
Ow! Plinth!
Ow! Moist!
Ow! You’re killing me.
Ow! Plunge!
Ow! Sponge!
Ow! What can it be?
Platypus?
Dromedary?
Hippo? Armadillo?
Kangaroo? Ow!
Fu Man Chu? Ow!
Aardvark, Puma, Hippo?
Ow! Ow! Ow!
*sniff*
Ow! Ow! Owwwwww!
Could it be Trombone?
Please take pity
On my arse.
Oooooh, I hate to moan.
Banjo! Ow!
Teapot! Ow!
Can’t you hear me cry?
Jelly! Ow!
Custard! Ow!
I think I’m going to die...
Owwww! *sob*
Ow-owwww! *blub*
I’m gasping now for breath.
God, please stop
I’m about to drop...
You’re beating me to death.
Ow!
Urgh...
Aargh!
Uhh...
Oh no! There’s the tunnel of light!
Ow! Gasp..
Ow! Help!
This is the end -
What a pile of shite...
Pant...
Phew....
Gasp...
Gulp...
Oh, wait! I think it’s stopped!
It finished, right,
When I said ’shite’!
My clogs I nearly popped.
Yippee! Yay!
Hurrah! Hey!
No more pain and strife!
I’ll live to play
Another day.
Shite just saved my life.
- Washing Up In The Nude
- Bike
- Chips
- National Curry Day
- Go East Young Man
- Bachelor Gay
- Poultry
- A Song In My Heart
- Finger On The Button
- A Postcard From Paris
- Beansprouts
- Nob Gags
- Bollocks
- Boris Et Al
- Crustylingus
- Auntie Brenda’s Pheasant
- I Walked On My Own Feet A Bit
- Shiter’s Block
- Thank Friday It’s Curry Day
- Look At Me I’m Wonderful
- The Glisten On The Aubergine
- In The Park
- Being Smelly
- Great Fat Hairy Arseholes
- The Shits
- My Old Man’s A Dustman
- Star Trek
- Ode To My Stapler
- Chairs
- Waldrapp Ibis
- Bum Cracks
- Die Like Elvis
- Kelp
- Fuck
- I Walked On Golden Sandwiches
- We Are All Tubes
- Underwear
- If I Were
- I Want A Wee Wee
- Pervert
- GDPR
- Grimsby Fair
- Ode To O
- Let’s Swap Snot
- A Poet’s Life
- Come To Grimsby
- Ill Ness
- Brian Is A Cunt
- National Poetry Day
- A Postcard From Cairo
- The Secret Life Of The Wheat Crunchie
- When
- The Breakfast Song
- Dining At The Y
- Zafira
- Born To Be A Cunt
- Goose
- Bog Troll
- Printer Friendly Version
- JFK
- Theme For An Imaginary Soap
- Owed To Ayrton
- Safe Word
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