Safe Word
Ow!
Ow!
Ow, ow, ow!
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Ouch!
Ooooh!
Ow, ow, aaargh!
Arg! Ooh!
Ow, ow, yaaaahh!
Please, miss,
can I have some more?
Ow! That really hurts.
Ow! God that truly burns
Ow!
That’s even worse.
Owwww!
Okay, that’s enough
Ow, that’s really sore.
Ow, ow! Time to stop, now, please.
I can take no more.
Ow! Ow!
Stop I say!
Stop! Haven’t you heard?
Ow, ow, now let’s think,
What was the safe word?
Bloody hell, what was it?
Ow! Shit! I’ve forgotten.
Ow! Please, stop it, now!
Ooooh, my poor red bottom.
Was it Fish? Was it Wine?
Ow! Oh, was it Cheese?
Maybe it was Mango? Ow!
Banana? Orange? Peach?
Red! Red!
It must be red!
Ow! Oh, shit, it’s not.
Why have I gone and chosen
A word that I forgot?
Penguin?
Snippet?
Artichoke?
Goblin? Ow! No, Wizard!
Lobster? Hatstand? Dribble? Ow!
Chicken. Gobble. Gizzard.
Ow! Plinth!
Ow! Moist!
Ow! You’re killing me.
Ow! Plunge!
Ow! Sponge!
Ow! What can it be?
Platypus?
Dromedary?
Hippo? Armadillo?
Kangaroo? Ow!
Fu Man Chu? Ow!
Aardvark, Puma, Hippo?
Ow! Ow! Ow!
*sniff*
Ow! Ow! Owwwwww!
Could it be Trombone?
Please take pity
On my arse.
Oooooh, I hate to moan.
Banjo! Ow!
Teapot! Ow!
Can’t you hear me cry?
Jelly! Ow!
Custard! Ow!
I think I’m going to die...
Owwww! *sob*
Ow-owwww! *blub*
I’m gasping now for breath.
God, please stop
I’m about to drop...
You’re beating me to death.
Ow!
Urgh...
Aargh!
Uhh...
Oh no! There’s the tunnel of light!
Ow! Gasp..
Ow! Help!
This is the end -
What a pile of shite...
Pant...
Phew....
Gasp...
Gulp...
Oh, wait! I think it’s stopped!
It finished, right,
When I said ’shite’!
My clogs I nearly popped.
Yippee! Yay!
Hurrah! Hey!
No more pain and strife!
I’ll live to play
Another day.
Shite just saved my life.
- Goose
- Great Fat Hairy Arseholes
- Die Like Elvis
- National Curry Day
- Bachelor Gay
- A Postcard From Paris
- Poultry
- Bike
- If I Were
- Beansprouts
- JFK
- Owed To Ayrton
- The Glisten On The Aubergine
- Printer Friendly Version
- Underwear
- Chairs
- The Secret Life Of The Wheat Crunchie
- Bog Troll
- Waldrapp Ibis
- When
- Kelp
- Born To Be A Cunt
- I Walked On Golden Sandwiches
- A Postcard From Cairo
- Grimsby Fair
- Safe Word
- Zafira
- Theme For An Imaginary Soap
- Star Trek
- Washing Up In The Nude
- Thank Friday It’s Curry Day
- Ode To My Stapler
- The Breakfast Song
- Pervert
- We Are All Tubes
- Fuck
- Finger On The Button
- Come To Grimsby
- Shiter’s Block
- Go East Young Man
- Auntie Brenda’s Pheasant
- Brian Is A Cunt
- National Poetry Day
- Crustylingus
- In The Park
- Ill Ness
- I Want A Wee Wee
- Nob Gags
- I Walked On My Own Feet A Bit
- Dining At The Y
- Let’s Swap Snot
- Bum Cracks
- A Poet’s Life
- Ode To O
- Boris Et Al
- GDPR
- Look At Me I’m Wonderful
- My Old Man’s A Dustman
- Bollocks
- Chips
- Being Smelly
- A Song In My Heart
- The Shits
Shitespace