I Walked On My Own Feet A Bit

I walked on my own feet a bit 

It really was quite novel 

’Twas nice to take the air and leave 

My rancid scummy hovel. 

I’d been asleep a hundred years 

And missed a century 

And, oh, what wondrous things there were 

Around for me to see. 


A carriage minus horses 

A grape without a pip 

A little pill that sends you on 

A mind-expanding trip. 

An episode of Star Trek 

On a digital TV 

A frozen apple crumble 

From the hands of Sara Lee 


The internet! A site with poems 

That are completely Shite. 

A washing powder that can get 

Your clothes completely white. 

A plastic card that gets you cash 

Directly from a bank 

Magazines of naked chicks 

To help you have a wank. 


Then soon enough my day was done 

I staggered home to bed 

Another hundred years sleep 

I need to feed my head. 

And as I lay back down I thought 

Of all these glorious things 

Can’t wait to see just what the next 

One hundred years brings. 



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