Finger On The Button

Got my finger on the button 

I’m ready for some action. 

It only takes a gentle press 

So let’s see your reaction. 

Do you moan, do you groan? 

Do you squirm and wriggle? 

Or do you just smirk childlishly 

And give a little giggle? 

 

Got my finger on the button, 

How pleased it makes me feel. 

The time it took to find it 

Makes it such a great big deal. 

But now at last I’ve got there 

After nine attempts or more. 

I hope I don’t forget this place 

Like I did before. 

 

Got my finger on the button... 

Damn! It’s slipped right off the spot! 

Now, it should be right back here, 

Bloody hell... it’s not. 

Where the fuck’s it gone to? 

I just do not understand. 

It’s a needle in a haystack 

And it’s not what I had planned. 

 

Got my finger off the button 

And I’m feeling all deflated. 

I’m sorry, love, I know that you 

Should have been elated. 

It’s all my fault, I know it is. 

I know that it’s no joke. 

But never mind, at least I can 

Go straight in for a poke. 

 

• A Poet’s Life
• Star Trek
• A Postcard From Cairo
• Waldrapp Ibis
• A Postcard From Paris
• Washing Up In The Nude
• A Song In My Heart
• We Are All Tubes
• Auntie Brenda’s Pheasant
• Bachelor Gay
• Beansprouts
• Being Smelly
• Bike
• Bog Troll
• Bollocks
• Boris Et Al
• When
• Born To Be A Cunt
• Brian Is A Cunt
• Bum Cracks
• Chairs
• Chips
• Come To Grimsby
• Crustylingus
• Die Like Elvis
• Dining At The Y
• Zafira
• Finger On The Button
• Fuck
• GDPR
• Go East Young Man
• Goose
• Printer Friendly Version
• Great Fat Hairy Arseholes
• Grimsby Fair
• Safe Word
• I Walked On Golden Sandwiches
• Shiter’s Block
• I Walked On My Own Feet A Bit
• I Want A Wee Wee
• If I Were
• Ill Ness
• In The Park
• JFK
• Kelp
• Let’s Swap Snot
• Look At Me I’m Wonderful
• My Old Man’s A Dustman
• National Curry Day
• National Poetry Day
• Nob Gags
• Ode To My Stapler
• Ode To O
• Owed To Ayrton
• Pervert
• Poultry
• Theme For An Imaginary Soap
• Thank Friday It’s Curry Day
• The Breakfast Song
• Underwear
• The Glisten On The Aubergine
• The Shits
• The Secret Life Of The Wheat Crunchie

Shitespace | Stories