Finger On The Button

Got my finger on the button 

I’m ready for some action. 

It only takes a gentle press 

So let’s see your reaction. 

Do you moan, do you groan? 

Do you squirm and wriggle? 

Or do you just smirk childlishly 

And give a little giggle? 

 

Got my finger on the button, 

How pleased it makes me feel. 

The time it took to find it 

Makes it such a great big deal. 

But now at last I’ve got there 

After nine attempts or more. 

I hope I don’t forget this place 

Like I did before. 

 

Got my finger on the button... 

Damn! It’s slipped right off the spot! 

Now, it should be right back here, 

Bloody hell... it’s not. 

Where the fuck’s it gone to? 

I just do not understand. 

It’s a needle in a haystack 

And it’s not what I had planned. 

 

Got my finger off the button 

And I’m feeling all deflated. 

I’m sorry, love, I know that you 

Should have been elated. 

It’s all my fault, I know it is. 

I know that it’s no joke. 

But never mind, at least I can 

Go straight in for a poke. 

 

• Washing Up In The Nude
• Bike
• Chips
• National Curry Day
• Go East Young Man
• Bachelor Gay
• Poultry
• A Song In My Heart
• Finger On The Button
• A Postcard From Paris
• Beansprouts
• Nob Gags
• Bollocks
• Boris Et Al
• Crustylingus
• Auntie Brenda’s Pheasant
• I Walked On My Own Feet A Bit
• Shiter’s Block
• Thank Friday It’s Curry Day
• Look At Me I’m Wonderful
• The Glisten On The Aubergine
• In The Park
• Being Smelly
• Great Fat Hairy Arseholes
• The Shits
• My Old Man’s A Dustman
• Star Trek
• Ode To My Stapler
• Chairs
• Waldrapp Ibis
• Bum Cracks
• Die Like Elvis
• Kelp
• Fuck
• I Walked On Golden Sandwiches
• We Are All Tubes
• Underwear
• If I Were
• I Want A Wee Wee
• Pervert
• GDPR
• Grimsby Fair
• Ode To O
• Let’s Swap Snot
• A Poet’s Life
• Come To Grimsby
• Ill Ness
• Brian Is A Cunt
• National Poetry Day
• A Postcard From Cairo
• The Secret Life Of The Wheat Crunchie
• When
• The Breakfast Song
• Dining At The Y
• Zafira
• Born To Be A Cunt
• Goose
• Bog Troll
• Printer Friendly Version
• JFK
• Theme For An Imaginary Soap
• Owed To Ayrton
• Safe Word

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