National Poetry Day

Today it’s National Poetry Day, 

So skip and jump and shout hooray, 

And at this most auspicious time 

Let your words be said in rhyme. 

Say them boldy, make them scan, 

Deliver them the best you can. 

Speak your lines with oomph and meter. 

Try not to allow them to peter... 

out. 

 

Anyway... 

 

Today it’s National Poetry Day, 

At least it is in the UK. 

So every year upon this date 

Don’t forget to celebrate. 

Open up the wine and beer. 

Just ignore all those who sneer 

And say that poetry’s oh so dull, 

A total pile of minging bull, 

 

A vile, repugnant ball of slime, 

A tedious, wretched waste of time, 

A crock of onanistic shite 

That sad pretentious fuck-ups write. 

We know that it’s really great; 

We won’t rise up to their bait. 

Here we’ll lie amongst our readers, 

Drifting, roaming, bottom feeders. 

 

Errrrrrr.... 

 

Okay, I think I have digressed. 

It could be time to take a rest, 

So I’ll leave you to celebrate 

And crack into your beer crate 

And drink a toast to our great skill, 

To Byron, Shelley, Keats and Will* 

And all who fill our hearts with joy 

For today it’s National Poetry... 

 

Damn! 

 

*I am, of course, referring to Blake here rather than Shakespeare (or that tosspot Wordsworth). 

 

• A Poet’s Life
• Star Trek
• A Postcard From Cairo
• Waldrapp Ibis
• A Postcard From Paris
• Washing Up In The Nude
• A Song In My Heart
• We Are All Tubes
• Auntie Brenda’s Pheasant
• Bachelor Gay
• Beansprouts
• Being Smelly
• Bike
• Bog Troll
• Bollocks
• Boris Et Al
• When
• Born To Be A Cunt
• Brian Is A Cunt
• Bum Cracks
• Chairs
• Chips
• Come To Grimsby
• Crustylingus
• Die Like Elvis
• Dining At The Y
• Zafira
• Finger On The Button
• Fuck
• GDPR
• Go East Young Man
• Goose
• Printer Friendly Version
• Great Fat Hairy Arseholes
• Grimsby Fair
• Safe Word
• I Walked On Golden Sandwiches
• Shiter’s Block
• I Walked On My Own Feet A Bit
• I Want A Wee Wee
• If I Were
• Ill Ness
• In The Park
• JFK
• Kelp
• Let’s Swap Snot
• Look At Me I’m Wonderful
• My Old Man’s A Dustman
• National Curry Day
• National Poetry Day
• Nob Gags
• Ode To My Stapler
• Ode To O
• Owed To Ayrton
• Pervert
• Poultry
• Theme For An Imaginary Soap
• Thank Friday It’s Curry Day
• The Breakfast Song
• Underwear
• The Glisten On The Aubergine
• The Shits
• The Secret Life Of The Wheat Crunchie

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