If I Were
If I were an eep-olli-glungle
On the zoostnerg of Agrington’s Jay
I’d sit on a wee longle blungle
And jostangwungbingle all day.
Poetry
- Goose
- Great Fat Hairy Arseholes
- Die Like Elvis
- National Curry Day
- Bachelor Gay
- A Postcard From Paris
- Poultry
- Bike
- If I Were
- Beansprouts
- JFK
- Owed To Ayrton
- The Glisten On The Aubergine
- Printer Friendly Version
- Underwear
- Chairs
- The Secret Life Of The Wheat Crunchie
- Bog Troll
- Waldrapp Ibis
- When
- Kelp
- Born To Be A Cunt
- I Walked On Golden Sandwiches
- A Postcard From Cairo
- Grimsby Fair
- Safe Word
- Zafira
- Theme For An Imaginary Soap
- Star Trek
- Washing Up In The Nude
- Thank Friday It’s Curry Day
- Ode To My Stapler
- The Breakfast Song
- Pervert
- We Are All Tubes
- Fuck
- Finger On The Button
- Come To Grimsby
- Shiter’s Block
- Go East Young Man
- Auntie Brenda’s Pheasant
- Brian Is A Cunt
- National Poetry Day
- Crustylingus
- In The Park
- Ill Ness
- I Want A Wee Wee
- Nob Gags
- I Walked On My Own Feet A Bit
- Dining At The Y
- Let’s Swap Snot
- Bum Cracks
- A Poet’s Life
- Ode To O
- Boris Et Al
- GDPR
- Look At Me I’m Wonderful
- My Old Man’s A Dustman
- Bollocks
- Chips
- Being Smelly
- A Song In My Heart
- The Shits
Shitespace