Underwear
Today has gotta be the day
That I’ve gone and filled my pants with poo
By now I should’ve somehow
Realised that I’d need the loo
I don’t believe that anybody
Walks the way I do. I can’t sit down.
Brown seat, the word is on the street
That the power in my fart is out
I’m sure you’ve smelled it all before
But now it’s really up your snout
I don’t believe that anybody
Walks the way I do. My pants are brown.
And all the turds I’ve had to crap are clinging
And all the shite hangs from my cheeks all minging
There are many ways that I could
Have stopped this follow-through
But it’s too late now
Because maybe
You’re gonna be the one that saves me?
And anyway
You’re my underwear
- Washing Up In The Nude
- Bike
- Chips
- National Curry Day
- Go East Young Man
- Bachelor Gay
- Poultry
- A Song In My Heart
- Finger On The Button
- A Postcard From Paris
- Beansprouts
- Nob Gags
- Bollocks
- Boris Et Al
- Crustylingus
- Auntie Brenda’s Pheasant
- I Walked On My Own Feet A Bit
- Shiter’s Block
- Thank Friday It’s Curry Day
- Look At Me I’m Wonderful
- The Glisten On The Aubergine
- In The Park
- Being Smelly
- Great Fat Hairy Arseholes
- The Shits
- My Old Man’s A Dustman
- Star Trek
- Ode To My Stapler
- Chairs
- Waldrapp Ibis
- Bum Cracks
- Die Like Elvis
- Kelp
- Fuck
- I Walked On Golden Sandwiches
- We Are All Tubes
- Underwear
- If I Were
- I Want A Wee Wee
- Pervert
- GDPR
- Grimsby Fair
- Ode To O
- Let’s Swap Snot
- A Poet’s Life
- Come To Grimsby
- Ill Ness
- Brian Is A Cunt
- National Poetry Day
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- When
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- Dining At The Y
- Zafira
- Born To Be A Cunt
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- Printer Friendly Version
- JFK
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- Safe Word