Let’s Swap Snot
Let’s swap snot.
What a lot I’ve got.
Up my nose
Is its repose
But you can have the lot.
It may sound rather funny
But mine is loose and runny
Yours is stiff
And firm, what if
We swap some for no money?
And then they’ll balance out.
The contents of our snouts
Will have good consistency
It makes so good sense to me.
Both of us winners, no doubt.
They’ll say we’re a couple of flookers
But I want to do it with you ’cos
Someone who manages
Their nasal passages
Sure is a master of mucus.
They’ll say we’re a couple of fogies
A disgusting pair of old toadies
They won’t understand
Exactly how grand
It is to play with your bogies.
So let’s give it a shot
I don’t care a jot
What they say
So, what the hey,
Let’s swap snot.
- Goose
- Great Fat Hairy Arseholes
- Die Like Elvis
- National Curry Day
- Bachelor Gay
- A Postcard From Paris
- Poultry
- Bike
- If I Were
- Beansprouts
- JFK
- Owed To Ayrton
- The Glisten On The Aubergine
- Printer Friendly Version
- Underwear
- Chairs
- The Secret Life Of The Wheat Crunchie
- Bog Troll
- Waldrapp Ibis
- When
- Kelp
- Born To Be A Cunt
- I Walked On Golden Sandwiches
- A Postcard From Cairo
- Grimsby Fair
- Safe Word
- Zafira
- Theme For An Imaginary Soap
- Star Trek
- Washing Up In The Nude
- Thank Friday It’s Curry Day
- Ode To My Stapler
- The Breakfast Song
- Pervert
- We Are All Tubes
- Fuck
- Finger On The Button
- Come To Grimsby
- Shiter’s Block
- Go East Young Man
- Auntie Brenda’s Pheasant
- Brian Is A Cunt
- National Poetry Day
- Crustylingus
- In The Park
- Ill Ness
- I Want A Wee Wee
- Nob Gags
- I Walked On My Own Feet A Bit
- Dining At The Y
- Let’s Swap Snot
- Bum Cracks
- A Poet’s Life
- Ode To O
- Boris Et Al
- GDPR
- Look At Me I’m Wonderful
- My Old Man’s A Dustman
- Bollocks
- Chips
- Being Smelly
- A Song In My Heart
- The Shits