Look At Me I’m Wonderful
Look at me, I’m wonderful,
How fabulous I am.
I can drink a milkshake,
I can eat some Spam.
I can jump a million miles
And land upon my feet.
I can run for president
Or dictator of Crete.
Yesterday I taught a fridge
To yodel in Malay.
Tomorrow I shall catch a squid
The size of Whitley Bay.
And anyone who tells me
That I cannot do these things
Will find they’re plagued by locusts
With pointy teeth and wings.
Look at me, I’m beautiful,
I’m such a handsome fellow.
I’m so good looking I’d look great
Even dressed in yellow.
I could charm a nightingale
To fall out of a tree,
I could sell my farts in jars
For over 50p.
See me as I stroll along
The high street of your town.
Watch the women-folk prostrate
Themselves upon the ground.
It’s me they want, it’s me they want,
It’s me they want to date.
It’s true it is, it really is,
Just look at me - I’m great!
- Goose
- Great Fat Hairy Arseholes
- Die Like Elvis
- National Curry Day
- Bachelor Gay
- A Postcard From Paris
- Poultry
- Bike
- If I Were
- Beansprouts
- JFK
- Owed To Ayrton
- The Glisten On The Aubergine
- Printer Friendly Version
- Underwear
- Chairs
- The Secret Life Of The Wheat Crunchie
- Bog Troll
- Waldrapp Ibis
- When
- Kelp
- Born To Be A Cunt
- I Walked On Golden Sandwiches
- A Postcard From Cairo
- Grimsby Fair
- Safe Word
- Zafira
- Theme For An Imaginary Soap
- Star Trek
- Washing Up In The Nude
- Thank Friday It’s Curry Day
- Ode To My Stapler
- The Breakfast Song
- Pervert
- We Are All Tubes
- Fuck
- Finger On The Button
- Come To Grimsby
- Shiter’s Block
- Go East Young Man
- Auntie Brenda’s Pheasant
- Brian Is A Cunt
- National Poetry Day
- Crustylingus
- In The Park
- Ill Ness
- I Want A Wee Wee
- Nob Gags
- I Walked On My Own Feet A Bit
- Dining At The Y
- Let’s Swap Snot
- Bum Cracks
- A Poet’s Life
- Ode To O
- Boris Et Al
- GDPR
- Look At Me I’m Wonderful
- My Old Man’s A Dustman
- Bollocks
- Chips
- Being Smelly
- A Song In My Heart
- The Shits
Shitespace