Look At Me I’m Wonderful
Look at me, I’m wonderful,
How fabulous I am.
I can drink a milkshake,
I can eat some Spam.
I can jump a million miles
And land upon my feet.
I can run for president
Or dictator of Crete.
Yesterday I taught a fridge
To yodel in Malay.
Tomorrow I shall catch a squid
The size of Whitley Bay.
And anyone who tells me
That I cannot do these things
Will find they’re plagued by locusts
With pointy teeth and wings.
Look at me, I’m beautiful,
I’m such a handsome fellow.
I’m so good looking I’d look great
Even dressed in yellow.
I could charm a nightingale
To fall out of a tree,
I could sell my farts in jars
For over 50p.
See me as I stroll along
The high street of your town.
Watch the women-folk prostrate
Themselves upon the ground.
It’s me they want, it’s me they want,
It’s me they want to date.
It’s true it is, it really is,
Just look at me - I’m great!
- A Poet’s Life
- Star Trek
- A Postcard From Cairo
- Waldrapp Ibis
- A Postcard From Paris
- Washing Up In The Nude
- A Song In My Heart
- We Are All Tubes
- Auntie Brenda’s Pheasant
- Bachelor Gay
- Beansprouts
- Being Smelly
- Bike
- Bog Troll
- Bollocks
- Boris Et Al
- When
- Born To Be A Cunt
- Brian Is A Cunt
- Bum Cracks
- Chairs
- Chips
- Come To Grimsby
- Crustylingus
- Die Like Elvis
- Dining At The Y
- Zafira
- Finger On The Button
- Fuck
- GDPR
- Go East Young Man
- Goose
- Printer Friendly Version
- Great Fat Hairy Arseholes
- Grimsby Fair
- Safe Word
- I Walked On Golden Sandwiches
- Shiter’s Block
- I Walked On My Own Feet A Bit
- I Want A Wee Wee
- If I Were
- Ill Ness
- In The Park
- JFK
- Kelp
- Let’s Swap Snot
- Look At Me I’m Wonderful
- My Old Man’s A Dustman
- National Curry Day
- National Poetry Day
- Nob Gags
- Ode To My Stapler
- Ode To O
- Owed To Ayrton
- Pervert
- Poultry
- Theme For An Imaginary Soap
- Thank Friday It’s Curry Day
- The Breakfast Song
- Underwear
- The Glisten On The Aubergine
- The Shits
- The Secret Life Of The Wheat Crunchie
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