Look At Me I’m Wonderful

Look at me, I’m wonderful, 

How fabulous I am. 

I can drink a milkshake, 

I can eat some Spam. 


I can jump a million miles 

And land upon my feet. 

I can run for president 

Or dictator of Crete. 


Yesterday I taught a fridge 

To yodel in Malay. 

Tomorrow I shall catch a squid 

The size of Whitley Bay. 


And anyone who tells me 

That I cannot do these things 

Will find they’re plagued by locusts 

With pointy teeth and wings. 


Look at me, I’m beautiful, 

I’m such a handsome fellow. 

I’m so good looking I’d look great 

Even dressed in yellow. 


I could charm a nightingale 

To fall out of a tree, 

I could sell my farts in jars 

For over 50p. 


See me as I stroll along 

The high street of your town. 

Watch the women-folk prostrate 

Themselves upon the ground. 


It’s me they want, it’s me they want, 

It’s me they want to date. 

It’s true it is, it really is, 

Just look at me - I’m great! 



Shitespace | Stories

copyright © Shitespace 1994 - 2023

terms | privacy | cookies | contact