My Old Man’s A Dustman
My Old Man’s a dustman
And it really doesn’t suit me
Listen to my sorry tale,
I’m sure you won’t refute me.
’Cause when I need my Old Man
For a shag or just a slash
My Old Man is down your way
Disposing of your trash.
Early in the morning
When I wake up with the horn
My Old Man’s been round the streets
Since the crack of dawn.
He empties all the wheelie bins
And loads them on the truck.
But that’s no good to me now
When I’m trying to have a fuck.
Now I’m not one to stand in
The way of his career.
But how I really hate it
When I find he isn’t here.
At times when I am bursting
And the pressure’s on my bladder,
That’s when I need my Old Man
Instead of getting madder.
I wish that he could find a job
Where he could work from home
Instead of being out all day
Where on the streets he’ll roam.
Some say I shouldn’t moan so much
And ought to be more lenient,
But my Old Man’s a dustman
And it’s bloody inconvenient.
- Goose
- Great Fat Hairy Arseholes
- Die Like Elvis
- National Curry Day
- Bachelor Gay
- A Postcard From Paris
- Poultry
- Bike
- If I Were
- Beansprouts
- JFK
- Owed To Ayrton
- The Glisten On The Aubergine
- Printer Friendly Version
- Underwear
- Chairs
- The Secret Life Of The Wheat Crunchie
- Bog Troll
- Waldrapp Ibis
- When
- Kelp
- Born To Be A Cunt
- I Walked On Golden Sandwiches
- A Postcard From Cairo
- Grimsby Fair
- Safe Word
- Zafira
- Theme For An Imaginary Soap
- Star Trek
- Washing Up In The Nude
- Thank Friday It’s Curry Day
- Ode To My Stapler
- The Breakfast Song
- Pervert
- We Are All Tubes
- Fuck
- Finger On The Button
- Come To Grimsby
- Shiter’s Block
- Go East Young Man
- Auntie Brenda’s Pheasant
- Brian Is A Cunt
- National Poetry Day
- Crustylingus
- In The Park
- Ill Ness
- I Want A Wee Wee
- Nob Gags
- I Walked On My Own Feet A Bit
- Dining At The Y
- Let’s Swap Snot
- Bum Cracks
- A Poet’s Life
- Ode To O
- Boris Et Al
- GDPR
- Look At Me I’m Wonderful
- My Old Man’s A Dustman
- Bollocks
- Chips
- Being Smelly
- A Song In My Heart
- The Shits